Part I of The Lesbian Vibe was about sexual attraction; nonverbal hints and exchanges that express interest, followed up by smiles. We’ll get to smiling later.
Part II: How do we know?
How do you see the gay? Is it really in the eyes? It has taken nearly ten years for me to organize my thoughts and build up the courage to write about women. So believe me, when it comes to eyes, the look doesn’t say, “Hey, I’m gay! Are you gay?” I believe the exact thought, especially with spaghetti girls, is, “I’m hiding my attraction to you.”
Suddenly I have women back in my life and the sparkly eyes are KILLIN’ ME, SMALLS! Is this the feeling of fluttering butterflies or the fluttering of our periods synching up?
RULES, TIPS and CHALLENGES:
No.1 - Know the players. Why is she hiding her attraction? Are you hiding your attraction? Are you hiding it better or worse than she is?
No. 2 - Why are you two hiding? Do you have equally good reasons for being closet trolls? I only care about you, so take my advice — If there’s no good reason to hide it, don’t! Bad reasons include shame, lack of confidence, and other generally negative feelings. Good reasons to hide, or, resist entirely, include inappropriate relationships, due to marital status, age, the workplace, etc.
No.3 - Resistance requires dedication. You’ve got to NEED that shit. You wanna resist? GOOD LUCK. You NEED to resist? Then buckle down. Cut that shit out. Lay low for a while, with your spouse on top of you, rather than the 18 year old roofer wrecking your accountability. Thinking is cheating.
No.4 - If you can tell she thought the thought, she knows you know she’s thinking about it. Unless you knew enough and were opportunistic when it came to keeping the threatening smirk at bay, I promise you gave yourself away, probably in the first split second of finding her out.
No.5 - For now, run. You are officially a target for her nervous/angsty energy, however small or large the amount she has saved up while trying not to make ‘fuck me’ eyes with you.
No.6 - When your nerves are calm (personally I’d give it a week if you can, safe) and you feel like you’ll be able to make eye contact without setting off glittery eyes or warm smiles or anything else that makes you want to touch her. Stay strong. Your weakness gives her power, and remember, you need the power now, to make it past the Boss you’re about to face. She has been thinking. Okay? For a week! So really it’s anyone’s game. Back to square one. Nonverbal reading will guide you in, but too much and your indulgence will put you back in time out with the hiding the thoughts.
The Lesbian Vibe, Part III:
Learn to know the difference between kinds of smiles.
happy pride 2014
I can’t tell you how happy I am that this is rule #1.
Me’Shell NdegéOcello - Fool Of Me
For those of you who want to wallow in your tragic, beautiful, lesbian sadness with me, just for a few perfectly dramatic minutes, press play.
Anonymous said: just wanted you to know i'm still praying for you and your kind.
You’ll be praying for a while because we aren’t going anywhere :)
You can’t pray away the gay.
fight the power